Wednesday, December 06, 2006

cool codes........


Open any of your fav site. paste this on the url location and hit enter


java-script:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.images ; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0;

Monday, November 13, 2006

Telnet to pop3 and Smtp.

Using telnet to check if the SMTP and pop3 service is running on a server.

TELNET.
=======
Telnet - SMTP Commands (sending mail using telnet)
In order to access your mailbox you will need 3 things:
An active internet connection (an embarrasing stage to miss sometimes!)
The address of a mail server capable of relaying for you - usually provided by your dialup provider (e.g. mail.domain.ext)
A valid email address (e.g. mail@domain.ext)
The first thing to do is to open a connection from your computer to your mail server.
telnet mail.domain.ext 25
You should receive a reply like:
Trying ???.???.???.???...
Connected to mail.domain.ext.
Escape character is '^]'.
220 mail.domain.ext ESMTP Sendmail ?version-number?; ?date+time+gmtoffset?

You will then need to delcare where you are sending the email from:
HELO local.domain.name
Dont worry too much about your local domain name although you really should use your exact fully qualified domain name as seen by the outside world the mail server has no choice but to take your word for it as of RFC822-RFC1123.
This should give you:
250 mail.domain.ext Hello local.domain.name [loc.al.i.p], pleased to meet you

Now give your email address:
MAIL FROM: mail@domain.ext
Should yeild:
250 2.1.0 mail@domain.ext... Sender ok
If it doesn't please see possible problems.

Now give the recipients address:
RCPT TO: mail@otherdomain.ext
Should yeild:
250 2.1.0 mail@otherdomain.ext... Recipient ok
If it doesn't please see possible problems.

To start composing the message issue the command
DATA

If you want a subject for your email type Subject:-type subject here- then press enter twice (these are needed to conform to RFC 882)

You may now proceed to type the body of your message (e.g. hello mail@otherdomain.ext from mail@domain.ext)

To tell the mail server that you have completed the message enter a single "." on a line on it's own.
The mail server should reply with: 250 2.0.0 ???????? Message accepted for delivery

You can close the connection by issuing the QUIT command.
The mailserver should reply with something like:221 2.0.0 mail.domain.ext closing connection
Connection closed by foreign host.



Here are a list of problems I've encountered and their fixes
501 nouser@nosuchplace.here... Sender domain must exist
The domain that you are sending from must exist

503 Need MAIL before RCPT
A recipient has been specified before a sender.

550 mail@domain.ext... Relaying Denied
The mail server has refused to relay mail for you, this may be for any number of reasons but typical resons include:
Not using this provider for an internet connection and/or
Not using an email address provided by the owner of the server.

Some things to watch out for:
1. If you type too quickly, sometimes it won't recognise your text (weird!)
2. The backspace key sometimes does not work with some telnet clients (even though it may seem as though it does)

I'll be putting more as and when I get them and figure out how to fix each problem.

POP3
====
Telnet - POP Commands (retrieving mail using telnet)
In order to access your mailbox you will need 4 things:
An active internet connection (an embarrasing stage to miss sometimes!)
The address of your pop mail server (e.g. mail.domain.ext)
Your username (e.g. userName)
Your password (e.g. passW0rd)
The first thing to do is to open a connection from your computer to your mail server.
telnet mail.domain.ext 110You should receive a reply like:
Trying ???.???.???.???...
Connected to mail.domain.ext.
Escape character is '^]'.
+OK ready

Then log in:
USER userName
This should give you:
+OK Password required for userName.

Now give your password:
PASS passW0rd
Should yeild:
+OK userName has ? visible messages (? hidden) in ????? octets.
If it doesn't please see possible problems.

To see a list of your emails awaiting collection use the LIST command, this will also show you the id number of your messages (e.g. 1 or 2 etc.)
To view the contents of an email type RETR + the id number of the message (e.g RETR 1).
To delete a message use DELE + the id number of the message (e.g DELE 1).
To leave your mailbox and close the connection use QUIT

Here are a list of problems I've encountered and their fixes
-ERR [AUTH] Password supplied for "userName" is incorrect.
The password supplied was not the one expected by the server, retype the password, failing that find out if you've got the correct password.

-ERR [AUTH] PAM authentication failed for user "userName": Authentication failure (7)
Your mailbox could not be broken down into seperate emails correctly, there may be a remnant of a message left - Ask your ISP to edit the mailbox manually and look for free lines above the headers.

452 4.4.5 Insufficient disk space; try again later
The mailserver cannot write the temporary files needed to allow you to collect your mail - ask your ISP to check disk useage and allocation on the server

-ERR [SYS/TEMP] Unable to copy mail spool file, quota exceeded (122)
The mailserver cannot create a temporary file needed to allow you access to your mailbox as you've run out of your space allocation - Try to reduce the amount of disk space you are using on that server (this quota may be shared between your mail, web and userspace), alternatively contact your ISP to increase your quota.

-ERR [IN-USE] /???/???/.userName.pop lock busy! Is another session active? (11)
The mailbox is currently in use by another connection or an old connection has terminated uncleanly - This will deal with itself

Overquota locking file '/???/???/???/userName.lock'; lock proceeding anyway


Unable to process From lines (envelopes) in /???/???/???/userName; change recognition mode or check for corrupted mail drop.
The mailbox cannot be split into seperate messages because the pop server cannot recognise distinct boundaries or the boundaries do not include the whole mailbox

Some things to watch out for:
1. If you type too quickly, sometimes it won't recognise your text (weird!)
2. The backspace key sometimes does not work with some telnet clients (even though it may seem as though it does)

I'll be putting more as and when I get them and figure out how to fix each problem.

You can find the document on using this URL. http://www.yuki-onna.co.uk/email/

Monday, November 06, 2006

Shreya - My Neice photographs. [Click here]

Retrieving Hardware Information on linux

Retrieving Hardware Information
If you need information on system's hardware like vendor, manufacturer, product, S/N, etc. you can use:

dmidecode
lshw
hwbrowser (graphical)
sysreport - Will collect all hardware information

The dmidecode command reads the information from the system BIOS, see also http://www.nongnu.org/dmidecode/.

There are a few other commands you might want to check out which list installed hardware components etc.:

lsdev
lshal
lspci
lsusb
lsscsi

Starting with the 2.6 kernel you can now get lots of information from /sys. For example, to get information on an Emulex HBA:

# ls /sys/class/scsi_host/host1/

board_mode lpfc_cr_delay lpfc_poll option_rom_version
board_online lpfc_drvr_version lpfc_poll_tmo portnum
cmd_per_lun lpfc_fcp_class lpfc_scan_down proc_name
ctlreg lpfc_fdmi_on lpfc_topology programtype
device lpfc_hba_queue_depth lpfc_use_adisc scan
fwrev lpfc_link_speed management_version serialnum
hdw lpfc_log_verbose mbox sg_tablesize
host_busy lpfc_lun_queue_depth modeldesc state
info lpfc_max_luns modelname uevent
lpfc_ack0 lpfc_multi_ring_support nport_evt_cnt unchecked_isa_dma
lpfc_cr_count lpfc_nodev_tmo num_discovered_ports unique_id
#

Friday, October 20, 2006

Nandhi Hills Trip - Photographs [Click Here]

Nandhi Hill Trip - with Microland Colleagues.
Anand and Jayaprakash's treat....

Dated : 14th October 2006

Unix - VCS - VxFS - Shell commands - Many more tips [Click Here]

Unix - All the Informations for a Unix System Administrator

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Cool lines...

# A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?"
# A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
# A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other
# A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
# A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!
# A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline.
# A drop of ink may make a million think.
# A fair face may fade, but a beautiful soul last forever.
# A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes.
We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars too!"

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Linux Snippets.

Linux command tips ******
http://www.pixelbeat.org/cmdline.html


http://www.felixgers.de/teaching/emacs/vi_search_replace.html

Vi: Search and Replace
Change to normal mode with .

Search (Wraped around at end of file):

Search STRING forward : / STRING.
Search STRING backward: ? STRING.

Repeat search: n
Repeat search in opposite direction: N (SHIFT-n)

Replace: Same as with sed, Replace OLD with NEW:

First occurrence on current line: :s/OLD/NEW
Globally (all) on current line: :s/OLD/NEW/g
Between two lines #,#: :#,#s/OLD/NEW/g
Every occurrence in file: :%s/OLD/NEW/g
Command for commenting out N number of lines (N = number of lines) :.,+N s/^/#/g
-----------------------------------
awk and sed commands

file test.txt content is retheesh kumar R
to view kumar R use
#cat test.txtawk '{print $2 $3}'

or you can use sed command and remove retheesh
#cat test.txtsed 's/retheesh//'
this switches retheesh with blank //

vi +5 filename.txt # This will open the filename.txt with the cursor on the 5th line
vi +$ filename.txt # This will open the filename.txt with the cursor on the last line

=========================
Edit Multiple files at one go.
==========================

vi file1 file2 file3
Will open file1
:wnext to move to file2 by saving changes to file1
:next! to move to file2 without saving changes on file1

To move to previous file
:wprevious - To move to previous file by saving changes to the current.
:previous! - To move to pervious file without saving changes to the current

To see the list of file that is being edit and to know the current edite
:args

========================================
Viewing mulitple file on the same vim window
======================================

To split multiple files for easy editing. (Horizontal Split)
vim fileone #original file from the original file type
:split /path/to/filetwo # Another file
Will open up 2 different files you can toggle between both the files using CTRL + W
To save changes type
:wclose - Will save changes to the file
:close! - Will exit without any changes

To split multiple files for easy editing. (Vertical Split)
im fileone #original file from the original file type
:vsplit /path/to/filetwo # Another file
Will open up 2 different files you can toggle between both the files using CTRL + W
To save changes type
:wclose - Will save changes to the file
:close! - Will exit without any changes

================================
New file from existing vim window
===============================
Creat a new txt file from vi console
:new - Will create a new file for edition
Note while saving ensure to use :w filename to save the file
======================
Command to manually set date on the redhat system.

#date -s "MM/DD/yyyy hh:mm:ss"
Example -
#date -s "03/17/2006 02:01:39"
-----------------------------------
For better graphical display during bootup and on command line mode edit grub and
add " rhgb quite vga=0x317"

eg: kernel /vmlinuz-2.6.9-5.EL ro root=LABEL=/ rhgb quiet vga=0x317
---------------------------------

Procedure to register and up2date your machine.

#cat /etc/redhat-release -----------> will show the redhat version you are using

up2date-nox --config
httpProxy :
enableProxy Yes

#up2date-nox -l
This will connect to the server using the proxy details mentioned, and sent the server details to the rhn.redhat.com site. (tab systems).
#run the rpm -keyXXSSXXSSSS
execute command to start updating the packages to the latest
#up2date-nox -u -----------> will start updating all the packages with the latest packages available on redhat site.

Using up2date command to update kernel.
Note: Kernel update will not actually upgrade the kernel but install a new version of kernel and make relevent entries on the /etc/grub.conf file and set the boot parameter to boot with the new kernel.
#up2date-nox -f kernel -----------> either enter kernel* or manually give all the kernel-smp, kernel-Highmem etc to install.

#cat /etc/redhat-release -----------> will show the updated redhat version
--------------------------------------

mke2fs -j -b 4096 / will specifiy 4KB blocksize, this will help in faster fsck.


Saturday, June 24, 2006

bonding network card on linux.

1. Add entires on /etc/module.conf file
alias bond0 bonding
options bond0 miimon=100 mode=1
--------------------------------------
2. lsmod should detect module.
bonding 25220 1
-------------------------------------
3. cat /etc/sysconfig/network-scripts/ifcfg-bond0
DEVICE=bond0
BOOTPROTO=none
BROADCAST=3.159.19.255
IPADDR=3.159.17.80
NETMASK=255.255.252.0
NETWORK=3.159.16.0
ONBOOT=yes

cat /etc/sysconfig/network-scripts/ifcfg-eth0
DEVICE=eth0
BOOTPROTO=static
ONBOOT=yes
TYPE=Ethernet
MASTER=bond0
SLAVE=yes
ETHTOOL_OPTS="autoneg off speed 100 duplex full"

cat /etc/sysconfig/network-scripts/ifcfg-eth1
DEVICE=eth1
BOOTPROTO=static
TYPE=Ethernet
ONBOOT=no

cat /etc/sysconfig/network-scripts/ifcfg-eth2
DEVICE=eth2
BOOTPROTO=static
ONBOOT=yes
TYPE=Ethernet
MASTER=bond0
SLAVE=yes
ETHTOOL_OPTS="autoneg off speed 100 duplex full"

cat /etc/sysconfig/network-scripts/ifcfg-eth3
DEVICE=eth3
BOOTPROTO=static
TYPE=Ethernet
ONBOOT=no
==========================================

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Enable full duplex and disabling autonegotiation for nic cards,

Modifying network settings

Add the following line in
/etc/sysconfig/network-scripts/ifconfig-eth0 &
/etc/sysconfig/network-scripts/ifconfig-eth2

ETHTOOL_OPTS="autoneg off speed 100 duplex full"

Restart network service
#service network restart

This will set network settings to full duplex, Speed: 100Mb/s & auto-negotiation: No

Run following commands to confirm network settings
#ethtool eth0
#ethtool eth1

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Words.. The ever Lasting Words.

Words without thought are dead sounds; thoughts without words are nothing.
To think is to speak low; to speak is to think aloud.
--Max Muller

It is with words as with sunbeams, the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn.
--Southey

Words are things; and a small drop of ink, falling like dew upon a
thought, produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think.
--Byron

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Walk down by the River.

Lazily walking by the river side,ear tunes to the gurgles of water beside, each step leaving the behind a trailing path on the white river bank.Letting out the little shiver of winter, mist masking the view far ahead. Trees dance to the tunes of the wind, early morning birds get more chirpy with each early find.

Sun shined far away, painting the sky with enchanting colours adding a tinge pigment of red to everything the eye could set upon. The early winter sun feels like the comfort of a warm blanket on a chill winter night.

The giant rocks by the bank of the river project out of flowing water, creating ripples and belting out the soul filling melody. The greater rock beneath that braved for centureis the fury of the river, yet stands tall smiling like a buddha bringing scenerity to the surrounding.

New leaves of the season sprout the bare branches, soft and subtle, colours so vibrant that tempt to fondle them, the morning mist droplets wet the tender green grass blades, the droplets on them sparkle like a sprawling diamond field all around waiting to be picked up.

The early wind carrying the scent of the nilgiries and the music of the nature, with it moisture of the river and the wetness of mist,caresing the body bringing it alive with glee,

God said "Adam & Eve, Wasn't this, what i left you as world" ;-)

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Booting stops at GRUB

Was trying to something crazy on the system. Did a small change of setting the default boot to windows instead of linux on /etc/grub/grub.conf file.

Problem:
Rebooted the machine. Machine boots up after the BIOS checks, when the sytem needs to boot up from the MBR. It says the work "GRUB" and stops there.

Solution:
As i was not able to load the MBR, could not load to the single user mode. Booted up the machine using the 1st Installation disk. Followed the normal resuce mode parameters. Set the partition /boot to read/write using command
"#mount -o loop rw /dev/hdx /boot"
"#cat /etc/grub.conf" below entry shows in which drive is the MBR Loaded.
#boot=/dev/hda

ran "#grub-install /dev/hda" to reinstall the grub configuration files. It was taking a very long time, and after sometime i failed.

ran "#grub-install --recheck" This command will take quite sometime to run but finally it checks the device.map file and correct if any error. Rebooted the machine and Violaaaaaa my linux was alive and kicking...:)

Refered http://docs.redhat.com for help.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Linux - Info......

Command to check if the Machine is 32bit or 64bit architecture.
#file /sbin/init
/sbin/init: ELF 32-bit LSB executable, Intel 80386, version 1 (SYSV),
for GNU/Linux 2.2.5, dynamically linked (uses shared libs), stripped

==========================================================
In apache u can configure to know the apaches cpu usage, memory, hits etc and the apache configuration i.e., modules loaded and configured for apache by editing the following entries.

#
# ExtendedStatus controls whether Apache will generate "full" status
# information (ExtendedStatus On) or just basic information (ExtendedStatus
# Off) when the "server-status" handler is called. The default is Off.
#
ExtendedStatus On

# Allow server status reports generated by mod_status,
# with the URL of http://servername/server-status
# Change the ".example.com" to match your domain to enable.
#

SetHandler server-status
Order deny,allow
Deny from all
Allow from x.x.x.x


#
# Allow remote server configuration reports, with the URL of
# http://servername/server-info (requires that mod_info.c be loaded).
# Change the ".example.com" to match your domain to enable.
#

SetHandler server-info
Order deny,allow
Deny from all
Allow from x.x.x.x


System Performance checking utilities in linux.
free(1) man page - Displays free and used memory statistics.
top(1) man page - Displays CPU utilization and process-level statistics.
watch(1) man page - Periodically executes the specified program, displaying fullscreen output.
GNOME System Monitor Help menu entry - Graphically displays process, CPU, memory, and
disk space utilization statistics.
vmstat(8) man page - Displays a concise overview of process, memory, swap, I/O, system, and
CPU utilization.
iostat(1) man page - Displays CPU and I/O statistics.
mpstat(1) man page - Displays individual CPU statistics on multiprocessor systems.
sadc(8) man page - Collects system utilization data.
sa1(8) man page - A script that runs sadc periodically.
sar(1) man page - Produces system resource utilization reports.
sa2(8) man page - Produces daily system resource utilization report files.
nice(1) man page - Changes process scheduling priority.
oprofile(1) man page - Profiles system performance.
op_visualise(1) man page - Graphically displays OProfile data.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Driving in Bangalore / India

This hilarious article was written by a Dutchman who spent two years in Bangalore, India, as a visiting expert. A little long article but worth reading it

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.


Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction.


Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.


Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.


Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts),or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty,often meeting with success.

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often moppedoff the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty,often meeting with success.


Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.


Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.


Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.
One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in nreverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting. Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.


Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.


Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point

Monday, December 12, 2005

Bound by belief...

As I was passing the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.
I saw a trainer near by and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. "Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away.

They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free." I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Feeling lucky... hit more Calvin and Hobbes....

  • Calvin: Want to play a great game I invented? It's called 'Gross Out'. You say the grossiest thing you can imagine, and then I try to think of something even grosser. Whoever comes up with the grossest thing gets a point, and we play until someone gets 50 points, ok?
    Hobbes: I think I alreay know who's going to win.
    Calvin: It's wierd nobody has ever played a full game with me.
  • Calvin: Oh, like I'm going to learn about bats and THEN write a report? Give me a break!
    Calvin: Bats are bugs.
    Hobbes; All we have is one 'fact' you made up.
    Calvin: Besides, I've got a secret weapon that will GUARANTEE me a good grade! No teacher can resist THIS! A clear plastic binder! Pretty professional looking, eh?
    Hobbes: I don't want co-author credit on this, OK? (Hobbes' statement)
  • Hobbes: Miserable Miscreant! Question my integrity, will you?
    Calvin: I can't question it until I see some EVIDENCE of it!
    You'll never make it till christmas. Give up now and enjoy yourslef. (Hobbes to Calvin on his efforts of being good)
  • Safety check on sled:
    Seat belts? None.
    Signals? None.
    Brakes? None.
    Steering? None.
  • Calvin: See, the box is on its side now. It's a duplicator!
    Hobbes: I can picture the look on your parents' face when they find out they've suddenly had twins.
    Calvin: Brother! you doubting thomases get in the way of more scientific advances with your stupid ethical questions! This is a BRILLIANT idea. Hit the button, will ya?
    Hobbes: I'd hate to be accused of inhibiting scientific progress... here you go. BOINK (Scientific progress goes 'BOINK'?
  • No. 2: Number three, Hi! I'm number two!
    No. 3: Charmed.
  • Hobbes: duplicator is a big success.
    A Duplicate: Are you kidding? It burned out after the fifth one of us!
  • Calvin: Who gets the bed tonite?
    Duplicates: we'll fight you for it.
    Calvin: Geez, you guys! Even I don't get sent to the principal every DAY! You're making me look bad!
    I'm being framed by my own doubles! The worst part is that I don't even have the fun of doing the stuff I'm being blamed for.
  • Bullet Tracer: My buddies travel light and they're fun to have around. One travels in a holster, and the other in a hip flask.
  • Hobbes/Calvin: Truce?
    Calvin/Hobbes: Truce.
  • Calvin: I don't DO math any more. I decided I'm more of a 'visual' person.
    Dad: Good. Visualize being the only 45-year-old in first grade.
  • Dad: The theory of relativity works only if you're going west.
  • Calvin: Oh no! I am in COOTIE CENTRAL. I haven't had my shots.
    Susie: Relax. Stupidity produces antibodies.
  • Calvin: I don't WANT to learn teamwork! I don't WANT to learn about winning and losing! Heck, I don't even want to COMPETE! What's wrong with just having fun by yourself, huh?!
    Dad: when u grow up, it's not allowed.
    Calvin: All the more reason I should do it NOW!
  • Clavin: Hey Hobbes, What's a 'Paper Tiger'?
    Hobbes: Its like a paper boy. You know, a tiger with a newspaper route.
  • Dad: I just KNOW some nurse switched the bassinets.
  • Hobbes: I have a question. Why don't we get younger as we go back in time and disappear as we pass the day we were born?
    Calvin: I'd explain it, but there's a lot of math.
    Hobbes: I thought you got a 'D' in math.

Calvin & Hobbes.

CALVIN & HOBBES QUOTES

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge.

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

Where do we keep all our chainsaws, Mom?

# CALVIN

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.

Its no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me.

What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?

As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.

This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ...

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.

I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information

~

"Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?"
"I'm not sure that man needs the help."

~

Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

~

Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.

~

"Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems? ...I gotta get my life some writers."

~

"I'm a simple man, Hobbes."
"You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!"
"I'm a simple man with complex tastes."

~

"See Any UFOs?"
"Not yet."
"Well, keep your eyes open, they're bound to land here sometime."
"What will we do when they come?"
"See if we can sell mom and dad into slavery for a star cruiser"

~

"My powerful brain has come up with a topic for my paper"
"Great"
"I'll write about the debate over Tyrannosaurs. Were they fearsome predators or disgusting scavengers?"
"Which side will you defend?"
"Oh, I believe they weer fearsome predators, definitely."
"How come?"
"They're *so* much cooler that way"

~

"I'm not going to so my maths homework. Look at these unsolved problems. Here's a number in mortal combat with another. One of them is going to get subtracted. But why? What will be left of him? If I answered these, it would kill the suspense. It would resolve the conflict and turn intriguing possibilities into boring old facts."
"I never really thought about the literary possibilities of maths."
"I prefer to savour the mystery."

~

Susie: You'd get a good grade without doing any work.
Calvin: So?
Susie: It's wrong to get rewards you haven't earned.
Calvin: I've never heard of anyone who couldn't live with that.

~

"Bad news Dad. Your polls are way down."
"My polls?"
"You rate especialy low among tigers and six year old white males."

~

"Mom's not feeling well. So I'm making her a get well card."
"That's thoughtful of you."
"See, on the front it says, 'Get Well Soon' ... and on the inside it says,'Because me bed isn't made, my clothes need to be put away and I'm hungry. Love Calvin.' Want to sign it?"
"Sure, I'm hungry too"

~

H : "What do you think is the secret to happiness? Is it money, power or fame?"
C : "I'd choose money. If you have enough money, you can buy fame and power. That way you'r have it all and be really happy. Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess."
H : "I suppose thats *one* way to define it."
C : "The part I think I'd like best is crushing people who get in my way."

~

Dear Santa. Why is your operation located at the North Pole? I'm guessing cheap elf labour, lower environmental standards, and tax breaks. Is this really the example you want to set for us impressionable kids? ...My plan is to put him on the defensive before he considers how good I've been.

~

"MOM, CAN I SET FIRE TO MY BED MATTRESS?"
"No, Calvin."
"CAN I RIDE MY TRICYCLE ON THE ROOF?"
"No, Calvin."
"Then can I have a cookie?"
"No, Calvin."
"She's on to me."

~

"What state do you live in?"
"Denial."

- Miss Wormwood & Calvin "Dad, I'd like to have a little talk."
"Um...ok."
"As the wage earner here, its your responsibility to show some consumer confidence and start buying things that will get the economy going and create profits and employment. Here's a list of some big-ticket items I'd like for Christmas. I hope I can trust you to do whats right for our country."
"I've got to stop leaving the Wall Street Journal around."

#

INNOCENCE

============

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

Hobbes : "Do you think there's a God?
Calvin : "Well somebody's out to get me!"

Calvin : "Do you really think Bogeymen exist?"
Hobbes : "I'm not sure, but if they do, I think this is where they live…"

"The world isn't fair, Calvin."
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favour?"

"Too bad the world will be ending soon."
"Beg your pardon?"
"Halley's Comet. Comets are harbingers of doom."
"No they arent, thats just superstition."
"Really? Guess I'd better write that book report."

"Since September it's just gotten colder and colder. There's less daylight now, I've noticed too. This can only mean one thing - the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isnt going out. He says its colder because the earth's orbit is taking us farther from the sun. He says winter will be here soon.
Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?"

    - Calvin, about to become aware of the concept of winter...
"This article says that many people find christmas the most stressful time of year."
"I believe it. This season sure fills *me* with stress."
"Really? How come?"
" I *hate* being good..."

~

"Any monsters under my bed tonight?"

"Nope." "No." "Uh-Uh."

"Well there *better* not be, I'd hate to have to torch one with my flamethrower!"

"You have a flamethrower?"

"They lie. I lie."

- Calvin, The Monsters Under His Bed & Hobbes "I wonder where we go when we die?"
"...Pittsburgh?"
"You mean if we're good or if we're bad?"

#

SOCIETY

========

I think life should be more like tv. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothes, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think?

So basically, this maverick is urging everyone to express his individuality through conformity in brand-name selection.

In my opinion, television validates existence.

~

"Here's a movie we should watch."
"Who's in it?"
"It says 'Japanese Cast'...two big rubbery monsters slug it out over major metropolitan centres in a battle for world supremacy...doesn't that sound great?"
"And people say that foreign film is inaccessible."

~

Hobbes : "It says here that by the age of 6, most children have seen a million muders on television."
Calvin : "I find that very disturbing...it means I've been watching all the wrong channels."

~

H : "What are you doing?"
C : "Being cool."
H : "You look more like you're bored."
C : "The world bores you when you're cool."

~

"I just read this great science-fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and turn them into zombie slaves."
"So instead of us controlling machines, they control us? Pretty scary idea."
"I''ll say...*HEY* What time is it? My TV show is on."

#

DEEP

====

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?

It's only work if somebody makes you do it

#

GURLS

=======

My only regret is blowing the best day of my life while I'm so young

- Calvin prepares a water-balloon ambush for Susie Calvin: Our top-secret club, G.R.O.S.S.-- Get Rid Of Slimy girlS!
Susie: Slimy girls?!
Calvin: I know that's redundant, but otherwise it doesn't spell anything.

I'm looking for something that can deliver a 50-pound payload of snow on a small feminine target. Can you suggest something? Hello...?

Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

~

We are a fierce and dirty band of cut-throat pirates! Keep a sharp lookout matey, we dont want any sissy girls on our ship!"
"We *dont* like girls???"
"Of course not dummy, we're a murderous bunch of pirates, remember?"
"Who do we smooch then?"

~

"There's a new girl in our class."
"Well, whats her name?"
"WHO KNOWS?"
"Is she nice?"
"WHO CARES? Not me!"
"Do you LIKE her?"
"NO!"

~

"Here comes that new girl. HEY SUSIE DERKINS, IS THAT YOUR FACE OR IS A POSSUM STUCK IN YOUR COLLAR? I HOPE YOU SUFFER A DEBILITATING BRAIN ANEURISM, YOU FREAK!"
"She *cute*, isnt she?"
"GO AWAY!"

~

"Hello Susie, this is Calvin. I lost our homework assignment. Can you tell me what we were supposed to read for tomorrow?"
"Are you sure you're not calling for some other reason?"
"Why else would I call you?"
"Maybe you missed the melodious sound of my voice?"
"WHAT? Are you crazy? All I want is the STUPID assignment!"
"First say you missed the melodious sound of my voice."
"THIS IS BLACKMAIL!"

~

"This meeting of the Get Rid Of Slimy Girls club will now come to order. First Tiger Hobbes will read the minutes of our last meeting."

"Thank you. (9:30) Meeting called to order. Dictator For Life Calvin proposed resoultion condemning the existence of girls. (9:35) First Tiger Hobbes abstains from vote. Motion fails. (9:36) Patriotism of First Tiger called into question. (9:37) Philosophical discussion. (10:15) Bandages administered. Dictator For Life rebuked for biting."

"Is this a great club or what?"

"(10:16) Forgot what debate was about. Medals of bravery awarded to all parties."

~

"I'm never gonna get married. Are you?"
"Hmm...I suppose if the right person came along, I might. Someone with green eyes and a nice laugh, who I could call 'Pooty Pie'."
"POOTY PIE?"
"Or bitsy pookums."
"I think that would affect my stomach a lot more than my heart."
"Bitsy pookums I'd say. Yes snoogy woogy, she'd reply..."

~

"Do you like being a girl?"
"Its gotta be better than the alternative."
"Whats it like? Is it like being a bug?"
"Like a WHAT?"
"I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a crual trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it."

Monday, September 19, 2005

Acceptance!!! do we ?

This is one of the many stories that i received as forward,

Truly tear jerking.... Luv unconditionally or luv never !!

==============================================
A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home from the war.

He called his parents from San Francisco.
"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask.

I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me.
"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."
"There's something you should know the son continued,

"he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting.

He stepped on a land mine and lost an arm and a leg.

He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."
"I'm sorry to hear that, son.
Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."
"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."
"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking.
Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us.

We have our own lives to live,

and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives.

I think you should just come home and forget about this guy.

He'll find a way to live on his own."
At that point, the son hung up the phone.
The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however,

they received a call from the San Francisco police.

Their son had died after falling from a building they were told.

The police believed it was suicide.

The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to
the city morgue to identify the body of their son.

They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something
they didn't know,

their son had only one arm and one leg.
the parents in this story are like many of us.

We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around,

but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable.

We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy,
beautiful, or smart as we are.
Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way.
Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us
into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.
Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night,
say a little prayer that God will give you the strength you need
to accept people as they are,
and to help us all be more understanding of those
who are different from us!!!
There's a miracle called Friendship That dwells in the heart.
You don't know how it happens or when it gets started. But you know the special
lift it always brings.And you realize that Friendship is God's most precious gift!
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed
They lend an ear, they share a word of praise,

and They always want to open their hearts to us.

Show your friends how much you care....

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Funny One Liners.........

  1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
  2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
  3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is husband !
  4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash
  5. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
  6. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without,,, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
  7. You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it
  8. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
  9. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
  10. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired
  11. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
  12. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
  13. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
  14. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
  15. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
  16. You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
  17. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
  18. Early to bed, early to rise, your girl goes out with other guys.
  19. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
  20. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
  21. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
  22. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak

Monday, November 08, 2004

A Son long gone.....

she puts her fragile hand over forhead, gazing with her ever dimming eyes... looked to the farthest horizon,looking for a sign of her son's return, A son gone long ago...

His mere sight brings joy to all...His touch blossomed the life again.....
Life looks bleak.. yet holding the last few breath waits his arrival, so yet again it can bloom and dance with joy...

The streams came to a stand still, rivers to halt...
birds don't sing any more, flowers don't smile, trees bared.
Children wait for his return... to play with him like they did before.

Son not delay any further.... else u come only to find...
many left their soul... just waiting for you...
Should have been here by now...never has eluded me like this before....

With the ever dimming eyes ... she looked at the fartherst horizon... for a sign,
A sign, of her son gone long ago. A son whom she called....................THE RAIN.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Mein aaisa kyon hoon...

Mein Aaisa Kyon Hoon ... Mein Aaisa Kyon Hoon...
Thats exactly the feeling i am going thru... As every childs dream i wanted to be a pilot, a JET FIGHTER Pilot... dropping plenty of bombs.. hmmm.. quite a distructive dream... come to think of it.. good i did not become a pilot.. 2 reasons, one i will not get to bomb at will. Two What if i am flying one of those Indian Air Force war planes.. that are in news for all wrong reasons... :(

Next i wanted to be a cricketer.... come sun, rain what may... played plenty of cricket, for cricket i had dislodged my elbow, (i have a feeling its still not fixed right..). But when responsibility came calling..droped the bat and the ball to find the path to career.
When i see a good painting... I am determined to become a painter.. a good photograph.. or a wonderfully sophisticated camera .. i ponder how abt a National Geographic Photographer. that way i get to travel a lot which i luv too and make some big bucks...

Sometime back when i wanted to become the next Vishwanath Anand.. but that dream came down crashing.. when i could not beat my computer in the beginner's level despite giving it a go too many a times, but i realised one thing a computer is no match to me at kick boxing :))

Today i am working in IT field... something that was not in my list of dreams... I guess one's dreams and ambitions change according to the time and situation (s)he is place in.... (atleast most of the people). some time i do humm the tune... Mein Aaisa Kyon Hoon.. Mein Aaisa Kyon Hoon.... ;-).

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

A madness called Cricket........

From the time i coult hit a ball with a bat, since then i am following cricket. I am awed by the reach of the game, its influence, the madness it brings out amonst the masses.... a topic that is discussed by the current and the older generation alike.
It often leaves me wondering why is this sport such a topic of discussion, why am i so elated when i see the men in blue win the matches... it leaves me chest swelled with pride and honour... why does it steals my appetite and my sleep when i see the team india crumble... When india is playing, then cricket and related issues are discussed across the lenght and breath of india, its a jubliant feeling to hear the crakers go off and the whole nation goes into celebration the india wins as though its one festival thats common to all the umpteen religion and caste india has.
This game has achived something very distinct something fantablous - its brought the nation together....

Truely... its a madness.. thats called CRICKET.....