Bound by belief...

As I was passing the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.
I saw a trainer near by and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. "Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away.

They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free." I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Feeling lucky... hit more Calvin and Hobbes....

• Calvin: Want to play a great game I invented? It's called 'Gross Out'. You say the grossiest thing you can imagine, and then I try to think of something even grosser. Whoever comes up with the grossest thing gets a point, and we play until someone gets 50 points, ok?
  Hobbes: I think I alreay know who's going to win.
  Calvin: It's wierd nobody has ever played a full game with me.
• Calvin: Oh, like I'm going to learn about bats and THEN write a report? Give me a break!
  Calvin: Bats are bugs.
  Hobbes; All we have is one 'fact' you made up.
  Calvin: Besides, I've got a secret weapon that will GUARANTEE me a good grade! No teacher can resist THIS! A clear plastic binder! Pretty professional looking, eh?
  Hobbes: I don't want co-author credit on this, OK? (Hobbes' statement)
• Hobbes: Miserable Miscreant! Question my integrity, will you?
  Calvin: I can't question it until I see some EVIDENCE of it!
  You'll never make it till christmas. Give up now and enjoy yourslef. (Hobbes to Calvin on his efforts of being good)
• Safety check on sled:
  Seat belts? None.
  Signals? None.
  Brakes? None.
  Steering? None.
• Calvin: See, the box is on its side now. It's a duplicator!
  Hobbes: I can picture the look on your parents' face when they find out they've suddenly had twins.
  Calvin: Brother! you doubting thomases get in the way of more scientific advances with your stupid ethical questions! This is a BRILLIANT idea. Hit the button, will ya?
  Hobbes: I'd hate to be accused of inhibiting scientific progress... here you go. BOINK (Scientific progress goes 'BOINK'?
• No. 2: Number three, Hi! I'm number two!
  No. 3: Charmed.
• Hobbes: duplicator is a big success.
  A Duplicate: Are you kidding? It burned out after the fifth one of us!
• Calvin: Who gets the bed tonite?
  Duplicates: we'll fight you for it.
  Calvin: Geez, you guys! Even I don't get sent to the principal every DAY! You're making me look bad!
  I'm being framed by my own doubles! The worst part is that I don't even have the fun of doing the stuff I'm being blamed for.
• Bullet Tracer: My buddies travel light and they're fun to have around. One travels in a holster, and the other in a hip flask.
• Hobbes/Calvin: Truce?
  Calvin/Hobbes: Truce.
• Calvin: I don't DO math any more. I decided I'm more of a 'visual' person.
  Dad: Good. Visualize being the only 45-year-old in first grade.
• Dad: The theory of relativity works only if you're going west.
• Calvin: Oh no! I am in COOTIE CENTRAL. I haven't had my shots.
  Susie: Relax. Stupidity produces antibodies.
• Calvin: I don't WANT to learn teamwork! I don't WANT to learn about winning and losing! Heck, I don't even want to COMPETE! What's wrong with just having fun by yourself, huh?!
  Dad: when u grow up, it's not allowed.
  Calvin: All the more reason I should do it NOW!
• Clavin: Hey Hobbes, What's a 'Paper Tiger'?
  Hobbes: Its like a paper boy. You know, a tiger with a newspaper route.
• Dad: I just KNOW some nurse switched the bassinets.
• Hobbes: I have a question. Why don't we get younger as we go back in time and disappear as we pass the day we were born?
  Calvin: I'd explain it, but there's a lot of math.
  Hobbes: I thought you got a 'D' in math.

Calvin & Hobbes.

CALVIN & HOBBES QUOTES

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge.

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

Where do we keep all our chainsaws, Mom?

# CALVIN

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.

Its no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me.

What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?

As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.

This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ...

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.

I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information

~

"Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?"
"I'm not sure that man needs the help."

~

Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

~

Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.

~

"Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems? ...I gotta get my life some writers."

~

"I'm a simple man, Hobbes."
"You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!"
"I'm a simple man with complex tastes."

~

"See Any UFOs?"
"Not yet."
"Well, keep your eyes open, they're bound to land here sometime."
"What will we do when they come?"
"See if we can sell mom and dad into slavery for a star cruiser"

~

"My powerful brain has come up with a topic for my paper"
"Great"
"I'll write about the debate over Tyrannosaurs. Were they fearsome predators or disgusting scavengers?"
"Which side will you defend?"
"Oh, I believe they weer fearsome predators, definitely."
"How come?"
"They're *so* much cooler that way"

~

"I'm not going to so my maths homework. Look at these unsolved problems. Here's a number in mortal combat with another. One of them is going to get subtracted. But why? What will be left of him? If I answered these, it would kill the suspense. It would resolve the conflict and turn intriguing possibilities into boring old facts."
"I never really thought about the literary possibilities of maths."
"I prefer to savour the mystery."

~

Susie: You'd get a good grade without doing any work.
Calvin: So?
Susie: It's wrong to get rewards you haven't earned.
Calvin: I've never heard of anyone who couldn't live with that.

~

"Bad news Dad. Your polls are way down."
"My polls?"
"You rate especialy low among tigers and six year old white males."

~

"Mom's not feeling well. So I'm making her a get well card."
"That's thoughtful of you."
"See, on the front it says, 'Get Well Soon' ... and on the inside it says,'Because me bed isn't made, my clothes need to be put away and I'm hungry. Love Calvin.' Want to sign it?"
"Sure, I'm hungry too"

~

H : "What do you think is the secret to happiness? Is it money, power or fame?"
C : "I'd choose money. If you have enough money, you can buy fame and power. That way you'r have it all and be really happy. Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess."
H : "I suppose thats *one* way to define it."
C : "The part I think I'd like best is crushing people who get in my way."

~

Dear Santa. Why is your operation located at the North Pole? I'm guessing cheap elf labour, lower environmental standards, and tax breaks. Is this really the example you want to set for us impressionable kids? ...My plan is to put him on the defensive before he considers how good I've been.

~

"MOM, CAN I SET FIRE TO MY BED MATTRESS?"
"No, Calvin."
"CAN I RIDE MY TRICYCLE ON THE ROOF?"
"No, Calvin."
"Then can I have a cookie?"
"No, Calvin."
"She's on to me."

~

"What state do you live in?"
"Denial."

- Miss Wormwood & Calvin "Dad, I'd like to have a little talk."
"Um...ok."
"As the wage earner here, its your responsibility to show some consumer confidence and start buying things that will get the economy going and create profits and employment. Here's a list of some big-ticket items I'd like for Christmas. I hope I can trust you to do whats right for our country."
"I've got to stop leaving the Wall Street Journal around."

#

INNOCENCE

============

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

Hobbes : "Do you think there's a God?
Calvin : "Well somebody's out to get me!"

Calvin : "Do you really think Bogeymen exist?"
Hobbes : "I'm not sure, but if they do, I think this is where they live…"

"The world isn't fair, Calvin."
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favour?"

"Too bad the world will be ending soon."
"Beg your pardon?"
"Halley's Comet. Comets are harbingers of doom."
"No they arent, thats just superstition."
"Really? Guess I'd better write that book report."

"Since September it's just gotten colder and colder. There's less daylight now, I've noticed too. This can only mean one thing - the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isnt going out. He says its colder because the earth's orbit is taking us farther from the sun. He says winter will be here soon.
Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?"

- Calvin, about to become aware of the concept of winter...

"This article says that many people find christmas the most stressful time of year."
"I believe it. This season sure fills *me* with stress."
"Really? How come?"
" I *hate* being good..."

~

"Any monsters under my bed tonight?"

"Nope." "No." "Uh-Uh."

"Well there *better* not be, I'd hate to have to torch one with my flamethrower!"

"You have a flamethrower?"

"They lie. I lie."

- Calvin, The Monsters Under His Bed & Hobbes "I wonder where we go when we die?"
"...Pittsburgh?"
"You mean if we're good or if we're bad?"

#

SOCIETY

========

I think life should be more like tv. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothes, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think?

So basically, this maverick is urging everyone to express his individuality through conformity in brand-name selection.

In my opinion, television validates existence.

~

"Here's a movie we should watch."
"Who's in it?"
"It says 'Japanese Cast'...two big rubbery monsters slug it out over major metropolitan centres in a battle for world supremacy...doesn't that sound great?"
"And people say that foreign film is inaccessible."

~

Hobbes : "It says here that by the age of 6, most children have seen a million muders on television."
Calvin : "I find that very disturbing...it means I've been watching all the wrong channels."

~

H : "What are you doing?"
C : "Being cool."
H : "You look more like you're bored."
C : "The world bores you when you're cool."

~

"I just read this great science-fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and turn them into zombie slaves."
"So instead of us controlling machines, they control us? Pretty scary idea."
"I''ll say...*HEY* What time is it? My TV show is on."

#

DEEP

====

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?

It's only work if somebody makes you do it

#

GURLS

=======

My only regret is blowing the best day of my life while I'm so young

- Calvin prepares a water-balloon ambush for Susie Calvin: Our top-secret club, G.R.O.S.S.-- Get Rid Of Slimy girlS!
Susie: Slimy girls?!
Calvin: I know that's redundant, but otherwise it doesn't spell anything.

I'm looking for something that can deliver a 50-pound payload of snow on a small feminine target. Can you suggest something? Hello...?

Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

~

We are a fierce and dirty band of cut-throat pirates! Keep a sharp lookout matey, we dont want any sissy girls on our ship!"
"We *dont* like girls???"
"Of course not dummy, we're a murderous bunch of pirates, remember?"
"Who do we smooch then?"

~

"There's a new girl in our class."
"Well, whats her name?"
"WHO KNOWS?"
"Is she nice?"
"WHO CARES? Not me!"
"Do you LIKE her?"
"NO!"

~

"Here comes that new girl. HEY SUSIE DERKINS, IS THAT YOUR FACE OR IS A POSSUM STUCK IN YOUR COLLAR? I HOPE YOU SUFFER A DEBILITATING BRAIN ANEURISM, YOU FREAK!"
"She *cute*, isnt she?"
"GO AWAY!"

~

"Hello Susie, this is Calvin. I lost our homework assignment. Can you tell me what we were supposed to read for tomorrow?"
"Are you sure you're not calling for some other reason?"
"Why else would I call you?"
"Maybe you missed the melodious sound of my voice?"
"WHAT? Are you crazy? All I want is the STUPID assignment!"
"First say you missed the melodious sound of my voice."
"THIS IS BLACKMAIL!"

~

"This meeting of the Get Rid Of Slimy Girls club will now come to order. First Tiger Hobbes will read the minutes of our last meeting."

"Thank you. (9:30) Meeting called to order. Dictator For Life Calvin proposed resoultion condemning the existence of girls. (9:35) First Tiger Hobbes abstains from vote. Motion fails. (9:36) Patriotism of First Tiger called into question. (9:37) Philosophical discussion. (10:15) Bandages administered. Dictator For Life rebuked for biting."

"Is this a great club or what?"

"(10:16) Forgot what debate was about. Medals of bravery awarded to all parties."

~

"I'm never gonna get married. Are you?"
"Hmm...I suppose if the right person came along, I might. Someone with green eyes and a nice laugh, who I could call 'Pooty Pie'."
"POOTY PIE?"
"Or bitsy pookums."
"I think that would affect my stomach a lot more than my heart."
"Bitsy pookums I'd say. Yes snoogy woogy, she'd reply..."

~

"Do you like being a girl?"
"Its gotta be better than the alternative."
"Whats it like? Is it like being a bug?"
"Like a WHAT?"
"I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a crual trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it."

Acceptance!!! do we ?

This is one of the many stories that i received as forward,

Truly tear jerking.... Luv unconditionally or luv never !!

==============================================
A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home from the war.

He called his parents from San Francisco.
"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask.

I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me.
"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."
"There's something you should know the son continued,

"he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting.

He stepped on a land mine and lost an arm and a leg.

He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."
"I'm sorry to hear that, son.
Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."
"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."
"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking.
Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us.

We have our own lives to live,

and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives.

I think you should just come home and forget about this guy.

He'll find a way to live on his own."
At that point, the son hung up the phone.
The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however,

they received a call from the San Francisco police.

Their son had died after falling from a building they were told.

The police believed it was suicide.

The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to
the city morgue to identify the body of their son.

They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something
they didn't know,

their son had only one arm and one leg.
the parents in this story are like many of us.

We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around,

but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable.

We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy,
beautiful, or smart as we are.
Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way.
Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us
into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.
Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night,
say a little prayer that God will give you the strength you need
to accept people as they are,
and to help us all be more understanding of those
who are different from us!!!
There's a miracle called Friendship That dwells in the heart.
You don't know how it happens or when it gets started. But you know the special
lift it always brings.And you realize that Friendship is God's most precious gift!
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed
They lend an ear, they share a word of praise,

and They always want to open their hearts to us.

Show your friends how much you care....

Funny One Liners.........

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is husband !
4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash
5. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
6. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without,,, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
7. You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it
8. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
9. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
10. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired
11. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
12. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
13. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
14. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
15. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
16. You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
17. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
18. Early to bed, early to rise, your girl goes out with other guys.
19. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
20. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
21. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
22. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak